MySpace Music Classic: ADAM and ANDREW – “The Emo Song”

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This was the best song I ever heard on MySpace music. Mostly because I love satire and was playing in bands that played post-hardcore and emo originals and covers at that time period. The lyrics are a masterpiece to me, as this song personified at least half of my high-school friends from the MySpace days. I personally suck at writing verses, so hats off to ADAM and ANDREW for making a song that will live in forever among the internet trollz.

LYRICS:
Dear Diary,

Mood: Apathetic.

My life is spiraling downward.
I couldn’t get enough money to go to the
Blood Red Romance and Suffocate me dry concert.
It sucks ’cause they play some of my favorite songs
like “Stab My Heart Because I Love You” and
“Rip Apart My Soul” and of course,
“Stabby Rip Stab Stab”.
And it doesn’t help that I couldn’t
get my hair to do that flippy thing.
Like that guy from that band can do.
Some days, you know…

I’m an emo kid, non-conforming as can be
You’d be non-conforming too if you looked just like me
I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face
I’m almost emo enough to start shaving my legs
‘Cause I feel real deep when I’m dressing in drag
I call it freedom of expression,
most just call me a fag
‘Cause our dudes look like chicks,
and our chicks look like dykes
‘Cause emo is one step below transvestite!

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don’t jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

I’m dark, and sensitive with low self-esteem
The way I dress makes every day feel like Halloween
I have no real problems but I like to make believe
I stole my sister’s mascara now, I’m grounded for a week.
Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
I can’t get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
Girls keep breaking up with me,
it’s never any fun.
They say they already have a pussy,
they don’t need another one

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don’t jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo
Dye in my hair and polish on my toes
I must be emo
I play guitar and write suicide notes
I must be emo

My life is just a black abyss,
you know, it’s so dark.
And it’s suffocating me.
Grabbing ahold of me and tightening its grip,
tighter than a pair of
my little sister’s jeans…
which look great on me by the way.

When I get depressed I cut my wrists in every direction
Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection
I write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses
I told my friends I bleed black and cry during classes
I’m just a bad, cheap imitation of goth,
You can read me “Catcher in the Rye”, and watch me jack off.
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
If I said I like girls, I’d only be half right!

I look like I’m dead and dress like a homo
I must be emo
Screw XBox, I play old school Nintendo
I must be emo
I like to whine and hit my parentals
I must be emo
Me and my friends all look like clones
I must be Eee-Mo

My parents just don’t get me, you know.
They think I’m gay just because they saw me kiss a guy.
Well, a couple guys. But I mean, it’s the 2000s.
Can’t 2 … or 4 dudes make-out with
each other without being gay?
I mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways.
I don’t know diary,
sometimes I think you’re the only one that gets me,
you’re my best friend…

I feel like tacos.